So important to talk about this. I had been on a low dose anti-depressant already but had to up my dosage. I was completely paralyzed in fear when I was first diagnosed, unable to eat and function. You have to do whatever it takes to keep moving forward.
A million praises for this post. When a doctor told me I had a tumor there was no psychiatric support offered. I was too overwhelmed to even know I needed it. Anxiety is too gentle a word for my experience, I was in a constant state of debilitating terror. When my surgeon explained to me later that remission is not possible with brain cancer, the other person on that call was a nurse, not a psychiatrist. When my surgery was delayed and I had a wild animal style violent temper tantrum at the hospital no psychiatric support was offered. When I got my diagnosis after surgery, no psychiatrist. Yes it’s true, I never asked but I am still angry and just deeply confused as to why that support wasn’t offered. I wound up in the ER after that, unable to care for my own child, for a nervous breakdown and finally got on an anti depressant and an anti anxiety medication. I think it saved my life. A year later, I’m off of both. This is why I lurk in support groups to tell others that for many of us these drugs are life saving and essential.
Hi Liz, I agree that anxiety is insufficient to describe how I was feeling. The first call I made after my biopsy, before my diagnosis, was to my OB. I told him I needed xanax immediately to get through the waiting period. When I finally met with my surgeon after my diagnosis, she asked me how I was doing. How was I doing? Terribly. Worse than anyone could possibly imagine. I begged for my psychiatry appointment to be fast tracked. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I called the psychiatry department every day until they finally got me in. I really only knew to do this because of my own background in hospitals/psychiatry. There was NO way that I would have known to do this otherwise.
Thank you so much for addressing this. I started therapy and was also prescribed something for anxiety and depression soon after diagnosis. I was somewhat ambivalent about it but just as you described, my mind wasn’t a healthy place to be in and I could barely function. I just finished active treatment a few days ago and I wonder when /if/how I’ll eventually stop taking these medications- or not. I remind myself that what we’ve all gone through is so hard and I try to give myself some grace as I figure out my new normal.
I was taking xanax daily during treatment, and then after surgery, I stopped. I was scared it was going to be harder for me, but I stopped from one day to the next. It was the first thing I dropped. I am giving myself time on the SNRI... I want to get through my first year of scans and see how I do in terms of managing my anxiety. I just don't want to suffer unnecessarily for a really arbitrary reason. But it's so personal, and it's so hard to say when. Eventually... but not yet, at least for me.
I really appreciate this post and the comments. I am currently pregnant and was just diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The only provider who asked about my mental health was my midwife. I don't think my ENT even considered that I might need help, because I have "good cancer."
So important to talk about this. I had been on a low dose anti-depressant already but had to up my dosage. I was completely paralyzed in fear when I was first diagnosed, unable to eat and function. You have to do whatever it takes to keep moving forward.
I agree. It felt like the inside of my body was going to fall out. Like my heart was going to explode from so much pain. I was completely debilitated.
A million praises for this post. When a doctor told me I had a tumor there was no psychiatric support offered. I was too overwhelmed to even know I needed it. Anxiety is too gentle a word for my experience, I was in a constant state of debilitating terror. When my surgeon explained to me later that remission is not possible with brain cancer, the other person on that call was a nurse, not a psychiatrist. When my surgery was delayed and I had a wild animal style violent temper tantrum at the hospital no psychiatric support was offered. When I got my diagnosis after surgery, no psychiatrist. Yes it’s true, I never asked but I am still angry and just deeply confused as to why that support wasn’t offered. I wound up in the ER after that, unable to care for my own child, for a nervous breakdown and finally got on an anti depressant and an anti anxiety medication. I think it saved my life. A year later, I’m off of both. This is why I lurk in support groups to tell others that for many of us these drugs are life saving and essential.
Hi Liz, I agree that anxiety is insufficient to describe how I was feeling. The first call I made after my biopsy, before my diagnosis, was to my OB. I told him I needed xanax immediately to get through the waiting period. When I finally met with my surgeon after my diagnosis, she asked me how I was doing. How was I doing? Terribly. Worse than anyone could possibly imagine. I begged for my psychiatry appointment to be fast tracked. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I called the psychiatry department every day until they finally got me in. I really only knew to do this because of my own background in hospitals/psychiatry. There was NO way that I would have known to do this otherwise.
Thank you so much for addressing this. I started therapy and was also prescribed something for anxiety and depression soon after diagnosis. I was somewhat ambivalent about it but just as you described, my mind wasn’t a healthy place to be in and I could barely function. I just finished active treatment a few days ago and I wonder when /if/how I’ll eventually stop taking these medications- or not. I remind myself that what we’ve all gone through is so hard and I try to give myself some grace as I figure out my new normal.
I was taking xanax daily during treatment, and then after surgery, I stopped. I was scared it was going to be harder for me, but I stopped from one day to the next. It was the first thing I dropped. I am giving myself time on the SNRI... I want to get through my first year of scans and see how I do in terms of managing my anxiety. I just don't want to suffer unnecessarily for a really arbitrary reason. But it's so personal, and it's so hard to say when. Eventually... but not yet, at least for me.
I really appreciate this post and the comments. I am currently pregnant and was just diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The only provider who asked about my mental health was my midwife. I don't think my ENT even considered that I might need help, because I have "good cancer."