Why I email my one-year-old

My not-so-morbid hack to capture memories.

After being exposed to the fragility of life, I value the preservation of memories with my family more than ever. As I mentioned in this previous post, and many of you echoed, one of the challenges of feeling joy is that it’s often met with grief. Usually in the form of an intrusive thought like, what if all of this gets taken away? What will my children remember about me?

I’m so over this predictable thought pattern, but knowing what I know about human behavior, I realized that without an actionable solution, I probably would keep finding myself in the same unhelpful loop of happy moment → triggering thought → solutionless dark hole of fear/anger. Andd repeat.

How can I preserve these moments without getting sucked into the morbidity of having to capture them in the first place? Pictures and videos are amazing, but without context, they don’t quite capture the depth and meaning of the memory.

I need something:

• Sustainable for me in that it won’t feel like I’m writing my obituary every time

• Sustainable time-wise (ideally five minutes or less) and can be done anywhere

• Won’t end up in an old box in the attic

• Is unique to each child and their memories, and other family members can participate

So, I started emailing my kids.

I set up an email address for each of them and email them when I arrive at my office before I start my work day or right before bed. I don’t do it all the time, maybe once a week, and they’re short, fun, meaningful moments that I want to capture in a sustainable, non-triggering way.

Here’s an example:

Regardless of how long I live, I still want to have these memories recorded for our family, and that’s what makes this special. Imagine the day they open up these emails and find all these little random memories. How cool is that? Because if not this, then what is life really about?

If you’re anything like me, you might welcome a productive solution to some of your distress.

Next time you’re tempted to fall into a pit of self-despair, when you wonder how your kids will ever access these memories, send them an email. Wouldn’t it be a game changer if, eventually, documenting our memories wouldn’t feel synonymous with morbidity?

Yours truly,

Marcella

P.S. When you share this community with others, you strengthen the reach and impact. I would be forever grateful for your recommendation.