Rest is important for the spirit to heal.
Soo... when should we do that?
The other day, I watched an interview with Jon Batiste as he spoke about his wife's battle with leukemia and the importance of rest for her recovery. He said he believed that rest is important for the spirit to heal. When I heard it, I felt a pang of guilt for how negligent I can be when it comes to prioritizing my own rest.
Truthfully, as a life coach, I have to admit that I suck at prioritizing rest, particularly post-treatment. I know that rest is critical for my physical and emotional healing, but let’s be honest, it’s a logistical nightmare.
As in… when do we do it? What does this even look like? Does it mean ignoring my endless to-do list? Does it mean working less and ultimately accruing more financial pressure? Does it mean spending less time with my kids and putting more strain on my marriage after over a year of that stress? I don’t know how these opportunities to rest are supposed to magically appear when there is just so. much. to. do.
Here’s what I know:
I need rest to heal from my trauma, rest allows me to do that
Overfunctioning likely contributed to how I got into this cancer mess in the first place. Cancer hates rest.
Rest can be small and can take many shapes and forms, and doesn't magically appear- it needs to be prioritized regularly.
Permanently activating my nervous system is unhealthy, and I need to value my health.
And yet, I also know:
Sometimes, if I’m left alone with my thoughts, I go to dark places where my hypochondria likes to lurk, and that is not restful.
I am constantly tired and constantly need rest, which feels resource-intensive and never-ending.
In order for me to rest, others need to step up with the kids/house and then they feel exhausted and burdened, so who gets prioritized then?
American culture & capitalist values hate rest almost as much as cancer hates rest.
So that leads me to a few questions for you…
When and how do you rest? Do you have any really restorative habits you can share with others? Can you share some advice for your fellow burnt-out rest-avoiders? My hope is to collect and share for a future post. Leave a comment below.
Yours truly,
Marcella
Eight weeks out from my last surgery and two years out from my original diagnosis I am still struggling with rest. It was much easier in the thick of treatment when physical limitations made it impossible but now post active treatment comes the real challenge.
I swim, I walk, I go into a dark room - even for 15 minutes with my feet up and an eye mask (so I can’t see the mess!). Capitalism, society and culture tell us we need fancy spas and luxury treatments for rest but sometimes all it takes is some time outside, some quiet time away from the noise or a few moments to reflect/offload. I write to stay sane and for my mental health I’ve found a 15 minute call to a friend to offload can work wonders.
Would love to hear tips on this (as I’ve been up for the last couple hours with my newborn and dealing with some side effects from treatment yesterday 😵💫). I also feel such guilt needing to prioritize myself and take the rest I so deeply need. It’s been hard to let other people step up more and I feel bad when they end up being exhausted as well.